Within the Swamp, a Seer is Watching
Within the Swamp, a Seer is Waiting

Turn back...

05/05/24, 3:48AM

Remembered to link to a post I made about how perspective is distributed in The Prophet of Panamindorah books.
Read it here if you are curious.

05/05/24, 3:41AM

I feel like I should update, but I do not have much to say. Or, I suppose, there's too much to say concisely, and so I don't want to say much of anything.
Talking often doesn't feel particularly useful, and thinking about my words being read...it feels both necessary/'the point', and also both undesireable and unhelpful.
Across species, there's a lot terrible going on. Even those words feel too small to contain it.
Personally, I don't feel like talking much either. I'm doing work on a commission right now.
Doing a reading challenge.
For multiple reasons, I have forgotten how to meaningfully talk to other humans, and I didn't know how to before. But it's worse.
This will do for an update.

20/07/23, 7:23AM, edited 20/07/23, 7:25AM

My feelings of late
have not been great
but a future date
may satiate
this ingrate.

I've been feeling down (quite badly so) and it's doubtful I'll feel much better soon. I should not be up at this hour, anyhow. I'm off to bed. Take care of yourselves.

ETA: I still don't know if the mobile issue was only on my end. Maybe I'll need to borrow someone else's phone just to check. If you ever have issues with my site, I'd appreciate it greatly if you let me know via my connected Dreamwidth... or by any other means, if you have them. I hope the issue was only on my end, though.

21/05/23, 10:01PM

After working hard with regard to thumbnails, I am now struggling with the fact that certain pages won't load on my phone. I hope this isn't universal, since I have no idea why some pages would load fine and others wouldn't. I'm thoroughly irked.

01/04/23, 2:36AM

I've separated the main art page into three; Panamindorah and other Abigail Hilton works on the main page, TTRPG ones on the second, and misc and original on the third. The NSFW still exists and performs its expected function. I don't think this will help the Panamindorah page load that much, but it might? At least, it should hopefully help the others.
In other news, I have become more generally hysterical internally, though nothing much has changed externally. I also went vegan. I haven't really told most people online...or even offline. But I'm happy about my choice. Other stuff is happening, but nothing too much to say here. Still at work on my Prophet and associated works timeline, haven't posted much to my associated Dreamwidth, but hope to in the future.
One day, I may pay for this site so it loads better. May consider better accessibility in the future as well, but it feels very overwhelming right now. Will focus on the NSFW Chance/Sham picture for some fun.

16/02/23, 6:55AM

I've been compiling things for a personal 'Prophet and its short stories' timeline. It's going alright. There are some contradictions, but that's fine. It's mostly interesting for me. It does make me wonder how the personal timelines work for others, though. I ended up centering mine around Chance's age and a handful of other details; there are actually decent reasons for this beyond him being my favourite. It does mean some dates have to change, though, so we always end up with Chance being twenty-two in the spring of 1701, with the assumption that he actually turned twenty-two in 1700 late spring-early summer. By Adagio, he would be twenty-three, albeit turning twenty-four sometime later that year (Sham would also probably turn thirty-one in either late spring-early summer of Adagio year; 1702).
The timeline doesn't have to work this way, though. Chance's age or his birthday can be changed around the dates that are 'connected' to it. I just elected to preserve it because it's so clearly stated, and his birth and the fall of Sardor-de-lor occurring in the same year feels right. But it does mean a couple of things. But I don't want to ramble about that here.
At the same time, it also feels silly picking apart the timeline of the books. It comes from love, but it feels rude. But it's also emotionally easier to do than my Chance ramble, and other such. Perhaps I should just stick to doodling. My pain is just irritating, and my mind is finding some pleasure in Prophet. I have considered relistening to Pirates, but I like to listen to things on my digital music player when I walk, and the bookfunnel library...ah, it's a no-app player.
All this rambling, though, but I enjoy how twisty Prophet is. I never thought it was too complicated, but I did enjoy all the moving pieces. The world, the characters, Abbie's themes and storytelling. I don't know what I'm babbling about now, so I'll leave it. Or maybe get back to my smut art.

13/02/23, 7:35AM

I'm in pain again. Managing it. But I'm having a lot of fun Chance/Sham thoughts, but also just Prophet thoughts in general. I've been messing with a timeline, but hesitant to talk about it for reasons. It's not that important to me in the grand scheme of things, though. But it's fun to play with things like that when you're a weirdo.
I hope to produce some more meaningful thoughts on Panamindorah, and particularly Prophet, soon. By meaningful, I just mean 'extensive fun ramble'. Although it might be that post about Danda-lay nd my inability to figure out certain parts of it (I'm bad at flood tunnels). But again, I'd rather think of the cast and politics and stories and feelings and such. But I also love the environments.
I have a lot of traditional doodles I wish I could share. I've been finding historical fashions and drawing Chance in them. Some are really nice, I think, but I hate both photographs and scans of traditional illustrations. oTL Sorry.
Hope you are well, person who may read this. Sorry, my pain and time constraints are making me brief and my typing/communication skills poor.

11/01/23, 4:06AM

A little while back, I made an entry over on my associated Dreamwidth. Here is that entry. It's about Natalia and books. I am hoping to have more entries up eventually. I have some half-written stuff about Chance, about Sham, about love and suffering and abuse and family and life (in the context of stories), and also one where I drive myself up the wall about Danda-lay, and how much I struggle to understand what the flood tunnel/basin/palace crescent looks like. I feel like I'm almost there, but not quite.
I'm a little embarrassed by all my unfinished artwork, but also delighted that I have so many ideas and experiments and such. Ah, well. Life is what it is.

09/12/22, 10:40PM

The index page is now properly linked to the rest of the site. Here's to hoping that goes well. If not, damn.

23/10/22, 03:21AM

A brief update; I haven’t done the front page of the blog, and I also haven’t decided on how I’m going to handle allowing comments. I think, rather than using neocities native comment system or a paid-for guestbook (I am not putting ads on my page, which is what I would have to do for a free one), that I’ll set up a Dreamwidth with a public journal page that allows all comments from anyone. I think that should work.
Of course, I would also be able to disallow comments easily, and I could have long, private journal entries on the offchance someone who followed this blog also had a Dreamwidth and would want to. People who want to let me know they’re on the rss feed could also say so, I suppose.
I have no desire to do life updates, so I’ll say something unrelated: I want to draw Danda-lay. I want to draw it, but I can’t figure out how it’s supposed to look. I feel dumb. I’ve re-read the relevant passages mutltiple times, but I’m struggling. Hmmm.
If I do make a related Dreamwidth, I will let you know via rss feed. And feel free to comment on anything old or new. No requirement to do so, it’s just a way to talk to me if you want to. Oh, and I also updated the font for the introduction text and the blog page text, so it should be easier to read. Titles and such will remain in the fancy text, though. I have nsfw and mega-nsfw pages in progress too, but nothing really to put on them yet.
Hope you’re well.

24/06/22 02:33am

I never want to make another RSS feed again. I need to work on the front page, but I'm otherwise done for now. My jaw started acting up again, and the pain is back (in my head and neck and jaw). I am very sick of being in pain.

22/06/22 10:07pm

Adding descriptions is hard. Everything feels like sharing too much. Everything feels like sharing too little. I still don't know if I'm going to end up posting nsfw or not. I'd like to. I've decided to post things with 'most recent' blog entries first. I'll also post extended thoughts on certain pictures here, I guess.

31/03/22 2:12am, edited: 31/3/22 2:18-2:19am.

It's a handful, editing a webpage. I am not very good at it, and I doubt I've learnt much. Still, I'll keep at it.
Fun fact: The edit had no effect. I hope I'm using the right effect.