Within the Swamp, a Seer is Watching
Within the Swamp, a Seer is Waiting

Turn back...

Picture A: (last modified: 24/11/22)

The picture I'm currently working on, although I only do a little bit at a time. I'd taken a decent break from it and struggled to remember what brush I'd been using. The context is an alternate future for Chance and Sham (alternate because I have no idea what is planned; I'm just playing around with potential post-Adagio concepts). I also wanted to draw a variety of shelts, and thus this picture has canon characters, characters mentioned but not seen, characters mentioned and seen but only in very minor ways, characters who are stand-ins for ideas and concepts, and some characters I just wanted to include.
I was originally going to ramble on forever about this picture, who the characters are, why I designed or portrayed them the way I did, the fake backstories I had for the real characters, the real backstories I had for the fake characters (real in that I had not come up with fake backstories for characters that don't exist. Instead, I'm going to list the characters, and may come back and do the other stuff in a blog post. Note that this will not be well-ordered.
Borders contain cowry catchers and lizard riders, text notes mentioned black cats (Nolfee) and wood faun councillors, that sort of thing. In the image: Tolomy, a female centaur (original), Archemais, a unibus, and a pegasus along the back (the pegasus should be Merlyn, but might be original because I wanted to 'dress' them in rainbow lorikeet colours). There's the Palace Guard (based off some card art I did of them), missing a deceased character and another character whom I might desperately try to squeeze in somewhere. There's Nelson, Tat, Fat Minston, Leil, Tavaris, Jonsyl, Patter, Owyn, Old Rat-Face Nil, a youth of noble birth, but unfortunate appearance by Jubal's standards, and the archers Elsa, Merion, and Margo.
Lower left includes a raven, Ounce, Ellery Nibs, Syrill, Lexis, Leesha, and Loop. There is also Capricia and Meuril.
Upper middle-left, before the chair, is entirely OCs with a reference to a trio of characters that would've featured in Walk Upon High (hint: consider the swamp faun). They are stand-ins for the Watch (which I prefer not to imagine in the context of modern policing, but I dunno). Many of them have names, most of them have backstories. They are not real characters, however, but just a single, non-existent vision of 'a Watch' (as opposed to 'The Watch'). They are mixed-gender, mixed-species, come from various classes, with varying abilities (in both the skills and the disabilities/neurodivergent ways), sexualities, and such. For stand-ins, I hope they have fun personalities. Most of the back row are meant to be from Chance's old command. This isn't meant to be the complete Watch either. But I said I wouldn't explain.
Lower mid-left we see two separate groups. One is a collection of cliff fauns from quartets and orchestras around Danda-lay, with some wolfling participants and ambassadors thrown in. The other group includes the wolfing whom Sham fathered his daughter with, her partner, a somewhat melancholy-looking Talis, Sham's daughter, Danzel, and two Durian wolf pups (the one leaning his head on the other is named Dance, and the one looking at Sham's daughter is Sven).
Behind the couch is Jubal, Istra, the eldest son of Istra and Shadock. Beside him are two rows of characters. The back row consists of maids, royal aunts and such, a group of noble ladies, and some servants. The front row consists of Chance's sisters and brothers (or versions of them). They have temporary personalities (they are more complicated than they may appear, but they are also not canonical...except that smug-looking Galen. Beside Galen, are three fauns who are also from Chance's old command; while I have hopes for a redemption (not necessarily for the real versions of these characters, but for my fake versions) they are standing in for the more treasonous bunch. They feature in an unfinished painting further down. To the right and down, you might see a foxling engaged in some investigation (I don't know if he'd have a magnifying glass for real; it's visual shorthand for 'detective work'. He's aligned with Chance's Watch).
But back to the couch! It's Chance and Sham; the original intention for this picture was Chance doing a slouch in a couch, with Sham lounging. I tend to imagine Chance being the more 'leans on partner' sort, but due to the posing in this picture, Sham gets to snuggle in. I think they're cute. Also, they're not sharing the couch because no one else is actually there. These eclectic groups of characters are not all in the same place.
On the floor before the couch, is a ram and doe, Hualien with their rats (as well as...some Eve and Malachi characters), a slightly bigger Raider leaning on Enden, with Fenrah leaning on Enden. Shyshax's head is in her lap, and Laylan is curled up behind her. Lyli has Xerous's head in her lap at the very front of the group. Beside their group is one that has no real grounding in Prophet, but was something self-indulgent (a transgender apothecary attempting to synthesize hormones with his herbs and a stolen wolfling medical text he should probably return, the two handsome gentlemen from the balcony across from him who keep trying to get to know him, and his old crush who wonders where his best friend disappeared to after the invasion. There's an older lady with a young woman next to her a little further over (the apothecary's landlady and his sister who also misses him). No explanations. If I was willing to cover up Crimson's feet, though, I might've included the apothecary's mother (LOL). But the two felidae standing in the middle of all this are Crimson, Char, and their children.
In the right upper-most part of the picture (to the right of the servants and the foxling) are representations of uncles, older noblemen, and male cousins of the royals who might be in the (King's) Army. I wanted representatives of all three of main forces (Guard, Watch, Army). Some of them may also be councillors of some sort. There is also a male centaur, although he is there more to mirror the female centaur than as a part of the Army (he's probably Mercurion, who I believe survived). On the lower right, there is a group of sex workers, including a satyr lady I've painted before (scroll down to the picture of Chance and Sham at some sort of ball; she's the lady on the left in the background) and the handsome fellow Chance spent some time with (he's the one in the lady's lap). Finally, there are three swamp fauns and a swamp goat; they will be wearing clothes in the finished piece.
There's so much story that comes with all this, but instead, I will simply say; it's a lot of work! The picture is sort of a mess, but I am happy to keep chugging away at it. I will probably allow many of the mistakes and messes to remain. I'm not interested in re-scaling characters and such. It's indulgent. I hope it's fun to look at, if you like shelts.

Picture A: (last modified: 12/04/24)

There's a lot to fix and to do here. But it's baby/toddler Chance and his early-to-mid teens eldest brother, the Heir. The brother does not have a name, and the impression I got from a conversation with Abbie on the old Facebook chatter group implied it was unlikely to be either Barek or Martin (the other names given to Chance's brothers; two names for the brothers are still missing, as well as both his sisters' names).
That's not what I want to ramble about, though. I do have a lot of fun coming up with names and 'characters' for them, depending on what I want to explore or imagine. All non-canonical, but interesting and fun to play around with. As for this image, I wanted to take an imagined moment between the two brothers and explore an 'ambivalent' and conflicted feeling. Chance is told by Jubal that his eldest brother bears him no ill will, though it seems likely to me (based on the story) that Chance hasn't really been talking to any of his relatives all that much. With the passing of Shadock, perhaps his relationships with his family could change...but before the passing, what sort of shadow fell over them?
Thus, I was imagining Chance as a toddler, in some shared playroom for the royal children, perhaps? He plays by himself, in part because his siblings may be avoiding and distancing themselves from him, and in part because he is beginning to gain an awareness of the way others treat and react to him. The Heir, meanwhile, approaches. I decided to consider what it would mean for a young teenager with the heavy expectations of his father, family, and kingdom on his shoulders might feel if he had a much younger, inherently scandalous brother...who he might have wanted to have a positive relationship with. If the Heir was someone with significantly more of a conscience than the father he physically resembles, who didn't actually want to be distant from, or cruel toward, Chance. And so when drawing him kneeling beside his youngest sibling, I thought of the many conflicted feelings in his head.
Meanwhile, Chance is confused, maybe even a bit annoyed initialy to be interrupted in his solitary play, or possibly worried he'll be teased. However, as the Heir kneels beside him and just watches him, he becomes a little more hopeful. The Heir, meanwhile, feels a sense of guilt and shame, and so for just a moment (maybe none of the rest of the family is around, or maybe it is only his father—or anyone likely to report to him—that is absent, he decides to do what feels right and hug his youngest sibling.
While the Heir is feeling both that sense of guilt and also frustration with regard to his position, Chance is again baffled, maybe not quite old enough yet to be wary (as if his eldest sibling were making fun of him with the hug), before he switches moods in the way a child might when a sudden, new understanding is reached. He hugs back...and the Heir realises he cannot do this, that he cannot have a positive relationship with his youngest sibling without running afoul of his father's expectations, the expectations of his wider family, and so he pushes Chance back. As sudden and sharp as the hug, the Heir pushes (too hard in his panic) and Chance topples backward. They stare at each other a moment, the Heir's with such a sickening weight in his stomach as he looks at the wide, upset eyes of his youngest brother (not general toddler upset, or even the expected bitterness of an emotionally neglected and hurt child) but the intensity of having a moment of love and affection so rapidly ripped out from under him. And the Heir stands up rapidly and leaves, ashamed. And Chance just sits there. He might not even cry, might instead swallow his tears down and go back to his solitary play, a little more curled in on himself.
None of this is canonical. I have no idea what any of Chance's relationships with his siblings were really like. Based on what we know from Prophet and Adagio, they sound a bit...bleak. Or maybe a lot bleak, considering. And maybe also a bit non-existent in places. But I wanted to touch on the emotional feelings of two brothers in such an emotionally messed-up household, under intense scrutiny and pressure, both resembling a different parent, both deeply negatively effected in the long term, and...both having had the capacity to care about and want to spend time with each other. The other siblings, I imagine, also have messy, but not necessarily permanently negative relationships with Chance. I don't imagine them having the same conflict as I've portrayed the Heir having here, but they were all raised in the same general environment. Some of them were more opportunistic in their relationship with Chance (if he's useful politically or socially, or able to be manipulated, they might keep him close, but if he's not, they might put up a 'barrier' and avoid him) while others might have more strongly internalised the social expectations and norms of the time (having more 'traditional' values, or going along with them due to feelings of obligation) but also being unwilling or unable to hate their mother (who would technically be the correct person to blame for any scandal, alongside Jubal) or their father, they end up pushing their negative feelings onto Chance.
Again, it's not canonical. I just didn't want to flatten any of them down. I tend to view the homelife of the royal children of Danda-lay and their parents through a rather...sad lense? While they are obviously exceptionally privileged in many ways, enough that if they were real I would probably be less sympathetic, but in terms of their situation, alongside the intense (partially justified) public scrutiny and observation from the people, and their wider social and familial network...I think it was genuinely a psychologically abusive and emotionally neglectful environment (I do not know if this is the intended interpretation, for what it's worth; it's just my reading). It likely was worst for Chance (and maybe also Istra, considering how negative her relationship with Shadock was) but...I imagine it was complicated for all of them. Who knows, though? Part of this series of drawings (one for each month of 2024, or two for March since I missed February's) of Chance with characters/'ideas-of-characters' is to explore these things.
Note: (05/05/24) I'm probably not going to do this series of drawings this year, due to some commissions and other 'life stuff'. I'd still like to do some art in this vein, though.

Picture A: (last modified: 15/01/24)

Two doodles of Chance just to warm-up. I think these were from December, or possibly earlier, but I combined the two pictures into one on the above date. Nothing special.

Picture B: (last modified: 05/09/23)

The whole thought process that led into me drawing this would take too long to explain. Various thoughts pertaining to veganism/animal-total liberation/critical animal studies, and similar/related concepts, complicated interactions between humans and our fellow animals, the unusual relationships between shelts and those other animals most like them, and the various reasons humans have breastfed other animals throughout history. It is funny that a species so attached to the breastmilk of other animals (and the exploitation inherent in obtaining it) becomes so squeamish with regard to returning the favour (although I would not generally recommend doing so; the best milk for each species, including us, is typically our own. Shall we look forward to consensually donated lab-grown/cultured human breastmilk in the future? I'll stick to my soy for now).
There's another element to this story, which was exploring the impact of the last Wizard War on the common shelts of Danda-lay. Here, a mother who has lost her child breastfeeds two infant orphans; one a cliff faun, one a cliff lamb. There's a weariness deep in her bones from her own enormous loss, but she still protects both children that are left. I can't decide if she knew and cared for and lived near or with their respective mothers or not. I think I just wanted a sharing with an animal so frequently exploited to the death by humans to be cared for too (the lamb, although all things considered, this probably also applies to the 'human-like' shelt child. I won't ask anyone to forgive my cynical tone). Sheep were the main animal species that made me vegan, and embarrassingly, that is also Chance Windar's fault. The (pseudo)bastard had me observing sheep, had me learning, and then, as they say, I finally 'looked'. And now I read confusing philosophical texts and academic papers and painful news and science, and I have even more to drive me crazy about the world.
Anyhow, I might come back and delete that ramble. But then again, reading weird stuff about or said by complete/near-strangers on the internet is half the fun of these sort of websites. Even if you cannot connect to the stuff about other animals, I hope at least the loss, the tiredness, and the determined compassion of the mother faun with both shelt and sheep child is interesting. I like thinking aboutthe struggles of relatively ordinary shelts and other animals in Danda-lay; one day I'll write my original character fanfictions playing with that concept.

Picture A: (last modified: 20/07/23)

I drew this in about thirty or so minutes, and it's pretty good. It's a charming Chance doodle... I wanted to draw him looking simple and ornamental, since I've been in a rut lately. And not a fun rut either. Maybe Sham is looking at him, hehe. I also wanted to experiment with giving him horizontal/rectangular pupils, like both domestic and wild sheep have (as well as a number of other animals). Canonically, I don't think he has them, but they're fun to experiment with.
He's not wearing clothes mostly because I didn't want to draw them. Heh...

Picture A: (last modified: 10/01/23)

It's Silveo, "Butter-cream" and his siblings, and a lot of peacock feathers! This was a gift for someone who did something very kind for me; I wanted to offer them something in return, and I seem to have made them happy, so I'm glad. I might attempt to colour it, but also, I've been told by multiple people it looks like a colouring page? And yet, I fear colouring it in. The plants aren't technically real species (or rather, I took some liberties with some of them), but there are some obvious inspirations. Monstera, ferns, and other such.
Ocelots are hard. Animals in general are tricky for me, but I think they look pretty decent! I'll add their whiskers if I ever colour them in.
The peacock pictures on the bottom part of the wall are meant to be a peacock moon/night and a peacock sun/day! And I wonder if people even notice Silveo's throwing knife when balanced against all those feathers? Hehe. Shinies!

Picture B: (last modified: 10/01/23)

This work-in-progress was intended as a Raidermas (Holiday + New Year's) gift to the world, but unfortunately the end of the year is a busy time for a lot of people, including me, and so I didn't get it done in time. It's Chance and Sham with Raider, being cute. There is the mildest of mild spice (barely even) in that Sham's unseen hand is meant to be on Chance's behind/hip (where he would like it, heh). But they're mostly just being sweet with their puppy.
As an aside, I've always enjoyed the fact the people of Middle Panamindorah basically don't wear pants. Fun little details. I always think of it as an amusing contrast with the cast from Wefrivain, and I suppose the Sunkissed Isles? Maybe even the Pendalons. That said, I always thought Sharon-zool was very fashionable, haha.
I hope I finish this.

Picture A: (last modified: 24/01/23)

I did this sketchdump because I had just finished listening to the Prophet of Panamindorah and needed to doodle some Hualiens and at least one Sevn. I'm glad I wear a mask when I walk, so people cannot see me making sad faces. Anyhow, this image contains (aside from my terrible digital handwriting): a Chance/Sham hug (because of course), a Sevn (I am reminded everytime that I liked him a lot, actually; the text says 'Panamindorah doesn't need thunder powder anyway.'), a tiny Char and Jubal (they were meant to be part of another scene in the image, but I couldn't fit them at the time...and then I did fit them in anyway, so I had these tiny doodles of them left over, haha), and a crouching Hualien. There is also Hualien speaking to a Cowry Catcher, which goes hand-in-hand with the image of Sham, Chance, Char, and Jubal reacting to this (it makes sense in context; I have more thoughts on this, but will not be rambling now), a tiny Chance/Sham horizontal makeout session, a tiny Istra with letter (the text says 'your mother would like you to read your mail Chance!), and another Hualien. I might need to make his nose a little sharper and more pointy.

Picture B: (last modified: 12/02/23)

This picture is a failure, but a necessary one. I was trying to figure out how I wanted to draw a scene from Adagio. The answer I came to was 'in many ways, but maybe not like this'. It was a rushed picture, so Sham is looking a little off, and the general quality is lacking. Still, I figured a few things out. And even if the picture isn't good, it still makes me happy since it is an attempt to convey a moment I loved in Adagio.

Picture A: (last modified: 17/10/22)

Chance Windar in a chair. It's a work in progress, but then most things I do are. I think it looks pretty decent. The blond hair you’re seeing is actually a hue layer though, because due to some experimenting with colour, his hair is actually orange (Picture B is the version without the hue layer). The original, done-in-one-hour, much worse version I doodled at first leant strongly on teals and oranges, which is part of the reason why it was orange initially (still technically is).
There are little details I like. He’s got slight shadows under his eyes (if you’re pale, and you experience any measure of tiredness or stress, chances are you’ll have permanent purple/blue under your eyes). His expression isn’t a scowl yet, but depending on what new information he gets, it could become one. I imagine he’s listening to someone for his work, or something like that; something post-Adagio, that requires a bit of formal dress and a bit of a ‘Go on...” expression too.
I’d like to do more on this. It’s been fun so far.

Picture B: (last modified: 17/10/22)

The same as Picture A, except you can see the orange hair. Much painting still to be done.

Picture A: (last modified: 02/10/22)

If you scroll down this page, you can find the digital sketch (itself based on a traditional drawing) that became...this also in-progress digital sketch. Hah. That old sketch is part of an image in which Chance and Sham are hugging, and is to the right of...a sketch of Chance and Sham hugging in bed.
All variations of this image are part of an attempt to portray a big, symbolic picture. This latest sketch has the most in it, though. It’s not a complete analysis of Chance, the things he experiences, or the choices he makes, but just little bits and pieces; a fragment of my interpretation of ‘the way he is’ in Prophet.
I have considered using the blog page on this website to write a long post about Chance. While I don’t think ‘a complete understanding about why I like Chance’ is possible, because there are too many little nuances, I think a post like that might be interesting for me to write.
If I continue this picture, I’ll post a more thorough explanation of things for my own pleasure. There’s still a lot of work to be done though.

Picture B: (last modified: 30/11/22)

Because this stage of the drawing is such a mess, I figured I'd post it separate from the sketch. I'm trying to figure out what colours to use, how things come together, and such. I never have any idea what I'm doing, so there's a lot of umming and uhhing. Chance's hair is actually one of the only colours used that fall outside the palette set. Looking at it now, I can see one of my notes to myself on the drawing is incorrect, hah. 'Main swamp fauns', it should say. Also, Laylan and Shyshax('s tail) might end up in the picture somewhere. I'll ramble about what it all means eventually.

Picture A: (last modified: 09/12/22)

My brain has been especially scattered as of late, hence the many, many unfinished ideas. I would like to finish works (I know that I can) but instead, I've just been doodling and painting wildly. Anyhow, I wanted to draw Chance and Istra speaking with one another. There's a lot that could be said about this relationship, even though it's not much explored on the page. It is ripe for interesting interactions, full of difficult things to grapple with for both parties; we can understand why Istra put Chance in harm's way (that is what she did, by my reckoning) in order to accomplish her goals (which, regardless of her reasons for doing it, are still good), and we can understand why Chance might feel foolish knowing what he knows, even if I would also say any anger or pain he felt was justified. More than that, I just enjoy the way Abbie does difficult parent/child relationships. If we ever get to see them talk or attempt to repair their relationship, that would be neat. If not, it is still good to think about (in general, Chance and his family interacting is something I look forward to...if it happens. Much like his mother, he does seem to have recluse tendencies...although, you can understand why).
The scene isn't composed to well, though. I need to actually start sitting down and composing these pictures. Also, chairs. Sitting. Ahhh! And I never am all that consistent with the fashions, but that's fine. It's more fun for me, that way.

Picture B: (last modified: 09/12/22)

I nickname this group 'The Hunters Three' in my head. It's Laylan, Chance, and my terrible attempt at a Shyshax (animals). My Laylan is looking a little like my pre-Adagio Sham, whoops. But anyhow, I actually enjoy this trio a lot. They're also good as duos, each with their own dynamics (which I presume would evolve in interesting directions post-Prophet). Laylan and Shyshax are close, but now have to find a new balance as they enter this new stage of their lives. Laylan and Chance are professional with each other, although now they've been through the ringer together (with some considerable effort from Laylan, and some vulnerability from Chance). They have some amusing similarities in the relationships they've ended up in, and I think there would be fun conversations and other such between them; diplomatically and personally. Interesting friends. And Shyshax and Chance obviously dislike each other throughout Prophet, although in 'Violins' I think you can see the possibility of an amusing back-and-forth. I don't think Shyshax could predict the Chance and Sham happenings the way he could Fenrah and Laylan, which might also be funny. And I wonder if, with tensions easing and the two growing as characters (especially Chance), they could also have interesting conversations.
Interesting conversations and happenings...words of the hour, apparently. It just saves me from picking apart the conversations that could be, I suppose. There are so many possibilities though, even if only Chance. I want to do some for him and Fenrah especially, but others too.
Anyway, I also like how this is coming out. Not trying to do a proper background makes my life easier, and even with Shyshax looking a bit like I don't draw animals, I think it's looking good.

Picture A: (last modified: 29/11/22)

I can never decide what I want, aesthetically, the fashion of Danda-lay to be. So I don't, hah. But I was playing around with the idea of drawing Chance in a fancy outfit (for a formal work event or something) and elected to base it of a piece of Guo Pei couture. The first image in this twitter post from a random user is the piece in question. The headpiece I need to redo, ignore it.

Picture B: (last modified: 21/11/22)

They're a random cliff faun. I just wanted to draw one, I guess. The outfit is inspired by Greta Garbo's from Queen Christina. You can see more cool pictures from that movie here, as well as a scene from it here.
I like the simple lighting. Feels effective. As for the character, I have thoughts about them. She might be a she, or a they, or both, even a he, I suppose. Whatever the case, the expectations on her and her own desires exist in conflict. They don't really know what to do, but they're having a moment about it. As much as I like the fact that Middle Panamindorahns (not the demonym) don't really wear pants, as I think it's a neat world-building thing that separates their culture from much of Wefrivain's, to the audience of our world, I don't think his tunic seems as striking as trousers or even breeches might. Still, it's meant to be a tunic rather than a dress, although I suppose various cliff faun ladies must wear tunics too. Communication is tricky, I suppose. But I think their expression, the pose, the lighting speaks loud enough.
With that said, I don't know the full extent of gender roles in Danda-lay, but I did feel like they were stronger than most other parts of Middle Panamindorah we saw. I could actually ramble about that, and about what little I know of real domestic and wild sheep 'roles'.

Picture C: (last modified: 30/11/22)

This was a fairly lazy painting. No real plan in mind, except I wanted to play with a 'statue' effect. There's a lot of little details wrong with it, but I think it does some of what I wanted it to do. I like the way statues look, so maybe I should practise more. Some parts are pretty, I think.

Picture A: (last modified: 21/11/22)

I want to get better at drawing kisses, so here's an attempt. I like it. The colour palette was also limited, as an experiment, although I never finished colouring it so I'm not sure it matters. It's cute, right? It's not aligned perfectly, but I love the feeling of the whole thing; I'm pleased with the way the bodies connect. Also, scars. Scars and hugs. Heh.

Picture B: (last modified: 24/11/22)

Though I have a few issues with this picture, I actually really love this one. I'm pretty satisfied with Chance, and some elements of Sham. The pose is a little stiff in parts, and it feels like there is a little too much distance between the bodies. This is probably because of how I do their (not necessarily canon) height difference—Chance being shorter in a noticeable fashion, but not by much. Oh well, I'll do better next time hopefully. I like adding vague lighting.
But in terms of emotion? It's also important to me. I love, love, love hurt/comfort for Chance. I love whump for Chance. I have an unfinished ramble-essay reflecting on Chance, the particulars of his situation as interpretted by me. I won't get into my thoughts and feelings on characters and pain (with or without comfort), and also characters and comfort (preferably after pain, I need things to hurt a bit for the comfort to feel good, sorry, haha), but there's a lot I enjoy.
But I also love exploring how Chance might help with Sham's pain, because there's so much pain there. Chance and Sham, I think, have experienced fairly distinct forms of suffering. They contrast in interesting ways (which I want to do a post on, so I will cease this particular rambling here for now). I assume the Raiders would've comforted each other, in particular the older Raiders, and in Sham's case, Fenrah. I'd assume it was mutual. They have an understanding of each other due to their shared experiences. In contrast, Chance's experiences don't really align all that well with Sham's, and to my understanding no one really meaningfully comforted him, so that feels like something he has to learn.
All this to say, I think he will learn. His attempts at being comforting in both Prophet and Adagio are sort of amusing and sort of sweet. And they seem to work, but I expect there will be times when Chance will need to navigate things in a way that might be a little beyond him. If Sham stays with him, he can't exactly go running to Fenrah or the other Raiders when things break, and while I don't doubt Sham will have or make other friends in Danda-lay (if he stays), I think this is something Chance would try to do. And he's stubborn and determined and loyal, and there's a lot of love in him (or the potential for it) and he wants to prove this, and I think he'd also just want to make Sham happy...or at least give him a place to be sad. And maybe the hug seems simple. There's nothing all that special about the image itself, but in my head, he's thinking about holding Sham's 'ghost' in his body. That if Sham needs something to hold him here, to hold him in this life, this world, then Chance can do that. He will do that. And obviously, that comes from Sham's own line about being 'a ghost' in his own life, which I thought was very powerful.
So that's what this is meant to be. 'I'll hold you in your body, so you don't have to think about that.' Lean on me. And Chance is sad and a bit overwhelmed, because doing this for someone else, to this degree, is (I'm assuming) something he's not well-versed in. Even if he can't fully comprehend what Sham has been through (his own issues a contrast) and even if he never really had the sort of relationships that would've taught him some of it, I think...he'll be there. Maybe not perfectly, but in his way. And Sham can be a ghost for an evening, knowing someone is there to hold him.
I don't know, though. I'm just playing. I also wanted Chance's hands on Sham's scars. A gentle contrast to a violent history.
All that rambling and I think I forgot something. Oh well!

Picture C: (last modified: 24/11/22)

This work is in progress, and it's definitely something I'll be continuing at some point. I should probably move it up the page, but it looks a bit 'eh' right now. I'm also a bit sad about it because I have such elaborate images I'd like to make of this moment, but I'm not quite there yet artistically. But I think this image will be a good practise run.
Anyhow, this is meant to be a representation of the violins sequence from Prophet. The background is meant to remind one of Laven-lay, and the windows will look out onto sunset ad night. Originally, they were going to depict scenes from the character's mentioned pasts, but it would've been too cluttered. The big ribbon will be sheet music, except instead of note I'll have little shadow versions of Sham and Chance dancing and fighting along them (similar to the figures in the middle). I've always loved the concept—depicting the music not through images of the characters playing their instruments, but of representations acting it out. The ribbon is four different colours because there are four mentioned songs in this scene.
I'm trying to decide how battered the characters should look. I don't think it's been that long since they were hurt, so I should probably make them both (but especially Chance) a bit bruised.
I'm really tired so I won't ramble as much about this as I want. A blog entry of some sort would be more appropriate anyway.

Picture A: (last modified: 22/09/22)

This was a quick doodle of Capricia Sor. I knew it was just going to be lazy, although if I do it again I’ll be more thoughtful regarding how her hair hangs. I was a bit too lazy about that. But that aside, I like it. The colours look nice, and I have a fondness for Capricia. Someday maybe I’ll ramble my thoughts about Prophet in general, but I’d also feel a bit strange doing it.
As an aside, I’d like to draw her in regent robes one day. Also, she's looking to the side. Her eyes are not slit pupils, but because I forgot to colour them in, that might not be clear.

Picture B: (last modified: 16/10/22)

Chance, in shades of pastel candy watermelon. Sounds delicions. Anyway, this was just a random doodle that I intended to use a random colour scheme with. It makes him look a bit like a sci-fi space babe, although he might be more muscular than intended.
Which reminds me, once upon a time I wanted to make Panamindorah pin-ups. Maybe one day?

Picture A: (last modified: 15/10/22)

Sham! I enjoy doing sort of lazy character doodles, so might do them more often. I partially did this to play with short hair again. I struggle with it. I think it’s because I want it to be shaggy and short, but also ‘unusual’. Chance implies that Sham’s new hair cut is uncommon (being something he saw in old wolfling portraits). Not being from Panamindorah (a Panamindorahn? I also don’t know the demonym), I don’t really know what that would look like. I went with something a little more anime-ish/cartoony; it’s partially slicked back (so no fringe) but its actually deceptively long (haha) and kind of curls/sticks up in places. I also find the idea of doing streaks in this sort of hair style easier, so if I want to colour it, this cut makes it easier.
I have no idea if any of that makes sense. I also feel like if any shelt would have anime hair (in the spiky/shaggy sense) it would be wolflings.
I hope he seems handsome. His nose isn’t quite right, but I think it looks fine (loose and easy drawing mentality, haha). I’m also experimenting with the arm hair look, due to him having some on the Adagio short story collection cover. I don’t like drawing facial hair and such (and must admit it’s very hit or miss in general for me) but I tend to have much more fun with body hair.

Picture B: (last modified: 17/10/22)

It’s Fenrah. The version is red is more how I usually draw her. She canonically has long hair, but I like to give it a shaggy butchness. In general, I make Fenrah a bit butch. I like that. I feel like masc women are pretty rare in fiction, especially masculine adult women (in the end, they always have to be feminised). Fenrah isn’t necessarily that, but I like to draw her that way. It’s also partially why whenever I draw her in a formal outfit, it’s basically a tunic or robes very similar in style to whatever I draw Laylan in. I also like to make women hairy, so Fenrah gets the arm hair too (I actually love facial hair on female dwarves in fantasy—and not, like, the pithy stuff usually offered, but that’s a conversation for elsewhere). I should add some scars to her, I feel.
I’d like to see her again (in general, hearing from the Prophet cast is fun) but I also don’t mind what we’ve got. Ahhh, Fenny. I need to draw you more.
The blue version is a short-hair look, similar to Sham’s. Also, bushy brows!

Picture C: (last modified: 17/10/22)

I want to include more loosely shaded backgrounds with my lazy sketches, because I actually really like how they look. Here’s Chance and Sham looking cute. Don’t ask whose bed they’re on or where the light is coming from, because I don’t really know or care. It’s up to your imagination!
You can see where I lazily made an adjustment and didn’t repair the image properly (one of Sham’s paws). I have a lot more trouble with panaun legs than faun legs, I feel. I also didn’t remember to include his paw scars, which is silly, because I actually think about them and the impact of those wounds a lot. Maybe I should’ve include a hint of his back scars from the side view? I don’t know. I also don’t know if Chance would have any obvious wounds/scars (he did fight in a war, and was a fairly active person besides, but I also think he’s probably more likely to have internal weirdness. We know he takes charcoal medication for stomach ulcers...which his drinking probably doesn’t help, and the events of Prophet certainly didn’t).
It’s only really relevant because I like the contrast of the suffering and struggle with a moment of contentment, or happiness, or whatever. Respite, maybe. It feels warm, to me. And I like experimenting with interactive poses (am bad at it). I think this one looks pretty good.

Picture A: (last modified: 02/10/22)

I don’t know why I felt compelled to post this one, I guess it’s interesting because it’s far from done and likely never will be, in this form anyway. I wanted to try drawing Chance and Sham at the pianoforte (or as best as I can render, or feel like rendering it). But I realised pretty fast that this particular angle wouldn’t work; you just can’t get as good a view as I want of them, and I want to draw Sham leaning back in the seat anyway, since he’d be facing the other way. Still, for some reason, I have elected to share this. A little love to a failure, I suppose. That’s what this page is meant to be about anyway, I think.

Picture B: (last modified: 13/09/22)

Chance and Sham kissing sketch. There’s not much to say, except I need to work at these sorts of poses. I also might mess with their height difference a little (in that I might lessen it). I like to make Sham a bit taller, and I imagine Chance to be a bit short for a cliff faun despite there being no real implication of this. Not super short, just a little below average. I hope it’s cute.

Picture C: (last modified: 16/10/22)

This is messy, but I also really like it. I like the way the feelings are conveyed. I want to get comfortable with including less faces in pictures, although I adore faces. But when I realised I couldn’t have the pose I wanted without Sham being hidden and with less of Chance’s face visible, I let it go. I think the mood is conveyed just fine with pose, environment, and the simple shading and colours, and what we can see of Chance’s expression. I like the idea of finding a hidden spot in the woods to spend some time. It’s a little risky, but probably not really that much more so than anything in the city proper would be (Chance’s rooms are private, but not a fortress against gossip or even spying, depending on gardens and windows and servants and who has the keys).
Whatever the case, I do want to do more drawings like this. Simple, not too tricky. We’ll see, I guess.

Picture A: (last modified: 09/10/22)

It’s Julian from the Sleipner books, or a very messy version. I might come back to him. I just remember being charmed by his description, and so wanted to have a go at drawing him. He’s not from Panamindorah, but this section is more ‘Abigail Hilton and A.H. Lee’ stuff anyhow. I just tend to draw the Panamindorah cast.
As an aside, I need to catch up with and leave some comments on the chapters. My life is just a bit strange right now. But I want to leave comments, even though I immediately feel embarrassed about everything I say or do. I should still leave them anyway. And I should probably be better about replying and reading replies, but my conversational abilities have tanked. Overthinking it? Absolutely.

Picture B: (last modified: 17/10/22)

This picture of Chance (where, once again, my experimenting with colour resulted in him looking more like a redhead than a blond) is actually pretty old (2020). Or the base of it is. It was originally Chance with a Marilyn Munroe-style dress (think the Seven-Year Itch) holding out his sword in a dance-like fashion. There were reasons for this (to do with contemplating gendered fashions, disregard for them, and also because I was listening to a podcast that touched on Old Hollywood). I came back to it a few days ago and edited it into something a bit more Greek, because I ended up wanting to draw something different and because it was surprisingly easy to make something pseudo-Greek out of a Marilyn Munroe-style dress.
I think it turned out fine though. I didn’t put too much effort into it, but it looks nice. The colours came out pretty.

Picture A: (last modified: 27/06/20)

This picture of Chance is part of the random selection of 'Blonds of Panamindorah' I decided to do. He looks a bit grouchy (not an uncommon mood for Chance). He's wearing his dressing gown from Adagio, and his hair is meant to be a little bigger than usual. Then again, I just love making his hair big.

Picture B: (last modified: 13/08/21, mostly done in 2020 though)

the actual 'Blonds of Panamindorah' picture, though the top two characters (Chance and Thessalyn) are cut off. This was never finished. The characters are Jubal (top left), Basil (top right), Istra (bottom left), and Percy (bottom right). I'm pretty fond of Jubal's face. When I draw him, I want to make him different from Chance. Darker, different hair style, slightly different features. In contrast, I try to emphasize the resemblance between Chance and Istra (my impression is that he takes after his mother rather strongly, almost exclusively). I like to draw Chance and Istra with slightly more aquiline nose, but did not do so sufficiently here. This isn't a feature from the books, but my own preference. I hope Istra looks somewhere close to her age. I think Basil's expression and wind-blown hair are fun, and if I had finished Percy's outfit, he would've looked quite fancy, hehe.

Picture C: (last modified: 27/06/20)

The last of the 'Blonds of Panamindorah', it's Thessalyn. I remember that while painting her and Chance, I ended up thinking of their similarities and differences. I love imagining the interactions between her and Chance, but then again, I love imagining many different (and many typical) interactions between the Panamindorah characters...and even some from other universes (belonging to Abigail Hilton or otherwise). I think she looks quite pretty here.

Picture A: (last modified: 05/07/20)

Similar in style to the 'Blonds of Panamindorah' above, this was a picture I did of Chance's eldest brother. At this time, he doesn't have a name. It's rather obvious that this picture is just Shadock (featured either to the right or below) but painted over to look younger. That's how he's described, to be fair. I tried to contrast his appearance with Chance and his mother too, beyond just the simple difference between blond hair and black hair. Don't think it was as much of a success as I would have hoped for.

Picture B: (last modified: 11/07/20)

A crossover image I never managed to finish. I've always liked the idea of Capricia and Gwain meeting, for some reason. They both wrote books that featured at the start of chapters in their respective stories, and while I do think they're very different in some ways, I liked the idea of them interacting and sharing their knowledge. I painted this while Cormorant was being written in 2020, so Andromache is included inspecting a pretty blue butterfly. Tzu is also present, simply observing the geekery. The location is meant to be Capricia's office and library in Laven-lay, rebuilt after the fire.

Picture C: (last modified: 07/07/20)

As mentioned above, this is the picture of Shadock. I tried to make him look powerful and handsome in his older age. I think he contrasts a little better with Chance, and at the same time, I think the stubbornness Meuril links between the two is there.

Picture A: (last modified: 04/08/20)

Rather obviously another incomplete painting, this is meant to be the scene in which Chance interrogates Sham in 'Fauns and Filinians'. My preference would be to position Sham with his hands above his head, but that's not how it's described in the books. Still, if I came back to this picture, I'd probably make that change. Aside from Chance, the three cliff fauns featured in this image are featured above in the large group picture; you can't really tell though. This moment is the one where Chance puts his sword through Sham's foot. Also, Laylan is there. Hi Laylan!

Picture B: (last modified: 30/07/20)

To put it briefly, these pictures are meant to resemble statues. Danda-lay is the cultural seat of Middle Panamindorah, and statuary is frequently mentioned in descriptions of its palace and streets. The top row features a king posed, a faun and fauness dancing, Chance's commemorative statue, and a draft of that statue that in turn becomes a picture of another cliff faun warrior riding a stag. The second row features a lazy bust of a swamp faun monarch, a fauness and female centaur (one or both of which might be an enchantress or wizard), a male wolfing and cliff faun with daggers in strange circumstances, a depiction of one form of queer sex between cliff fauns, and a leaping deer. The final row contains a large, interconnected series of statues that forms a scene with a number of ambiguously gendered sex workers (predominately satyrs) engaged in conversations both friendly and argumentative, quiet comfort, eating, greetings, and sex. Beside it is another deer, this time standing.
Originally, I went on for a long time about these statues. I might do that, but over in the blog section. Yet again, I might not. We'll see how I feel.

Picture A: (last modified: 16/07/20)

So many things to love, so many things to critique. I know how hard I worked on it though (very). I love many aspects of their outfits still. Hair-wise, I'm more frustrated with Chance's than Sham's, despite being more frustrated with Sham's at the time. It's a little anime, but I don't mind. I can't help wanting wolfling hair to be a bit shaggy. Meanwhile, I wish I had painted Chance's hair a little nicer. Regardless, I like the image. I like the feeling; hand on arm, a shared smile. In reality, I imagine Chance is trying to pass his hand on Sham's arm as him showing him around the place. But maybe not? The random characters in the background also have identities (one of them actually features in the really big group picture above). Maybe I'll tell their story somewhere; the blog section?

Picture B: (last modified: 31/03/22, mostly done in 2020 though)

It's cute, I hope. I wanted to do another limited palette painting. I like how Chance looks here, but I wish I'd done better by Sham. Still, I like it mostly. I don't know or care what they're wearing, heh.

Picture A: (last modified: 14/08/21)

I like this sketch. One thing that often gets lost when I elect to do a painting is the expressions. There's something about them that I tend to like more in this form; Chance in particular. I like the additional warmth in Sham's expression in later versions, but I don't think any of the later expressions on Chance's face quite match how he looks here.

Picture B: (last modified: 15/12/21)

The final version without additional lighting and shadow layers. I think it's fun to share the 'flat' version of a drawing. By the way, this was painted with a limited palette, so I couldn't really incorporate the 'right' blues for his eyes, or any Danda-lay purples...or whites, for that matter. The original picture had him in a pink-white tunic anyway, so I just stuck with that.

Picture C: (last modified: 23/12/21)

I won't talk too much about this picture here, since it's repeated further down in an art improvement comparison, but this is the final version. I have some issues with how I did Chance's hair; I think I should've committed to the additional effort needed to make it look really good. Overall, though, I'm pretty pleased. This was my first real attempt at digital watercolours, so I think it turned out alright.

Picture A: (last modified: 24/11/15-23/12/21)

Six years can make a difference, even for someone as slow and unfocused as me. I can't quite make myself the sort of artist who 'learns'. I get bored and unhappy pretty fast, which is particularly bad since art is one of my few joys. So I just content myself with a very slow evolution and experimentation. It does work, although you'll be something of a tortoise.
In terms of the art itself, I am fond of this picture. It was my first ever piece of digital art for the Prophet of Panamindorah, and I think Panamindorah in general. I worked hard on both versions, although I know I cut some corners by the end. The context is 'Chance and Sham having a conversation as they wander the halls of Laven-lay'. They're currently in an arcade around one of the garden courtyards. I like doing garden courtyards. I draw them a lot in Danda-lay too, though I try to mix up the flora and architecture. The original was drawn pre-Adagio, and so I had no idea what was to come and such. So Sham has his old haircut and outfit. As far as conversation topics, I don't know. Chance is feeling a bit passionate about it, or maybe he's just complaining about something. Sham is amused and endeared, whatever it is. I intended for the wry amusement first, and endearment second, but I don't know if that came through. I guess I don't mind.

Picture A: (last modified: 04/07/20)

This one is just cute. I also wanted to get better at drawing bodies interacting, for multiple reasons. I like it. I think it's quite expressive.

Picture B: (last modified: 01/08/20, reference to a 2017 traditional work)

I'm not too thrilled with the more recent of the two-in-one here. In particular, Sham's face leaves me a bit unhappy. When I do limited colour schemes, I need to think more carefully about what I use for him too. Still, it's not terrible.
The second picture is a very loose sketch of a picture I did in 2017, meant to examine Chance's character and life using a variety of symbols. I'd like to do a digital version someday, as I still really like the traditional version.

Picture A: (last modified: 11/06/22)

This was an experiment in rapidly creating a picture. There's a lot of tiny things that are off, but with the speed I made this, I'd like to try applying the style to some of my other paintings. Not all of them, but some. With just a little more effort, it could be tidier. The actual image itself isn't entirely clear though; it's Chance in a room, on a bed, with a certain in the wind and a moonscape outside. But I didn't think about it that much, so the background doesn't make much sense. I would have to figure out the layout. I should do that, one day.

Picture B: (last modified: 11/06/22)

The same image, but without the blue layer. I think the colour difference makes it interesting enough to post (for me at least).

Picture A: (last modified: 05/06/20)

I draw so much Chance, I feel like no one would believe me when I said I adored all the characters from Abbie's novels. But I do, so here's a Dakar. She's from 'The Pirates of Wefrivain' quintet. I actually used to have a bunch of art featuring an enormous amount of the cast across 'The Prophet of Panamindorah' and 'The Pirates of Wefrivain', along with some cameos from Abbie's other works. However, the art is so old I don't feel much desire to post it here. I'd like to draw other characters...but I love Chance a lot, so we'll see.

Picture B: (last modified: 11/07/20)

These quick MS paint sketches were done in an attempt to try and understand Tzu's anatomy. I am bad at drawing animals, and struggled a lot. Still, there she is, and there is an element of cuteness. The first time I drew her, I thought she looked more like a vampire bat. I liked that ugly-cute angle, but I admit the 'Winged Wolf' epithet makes more sense with this design.

Picture C: (last modified: 05/06/20)

This is the same image of Dakar, just with a quick attempt at water effects. It's not too tidy, but I like it. Enough, at least, that I felt like sharing it here.

Picture A: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

In 2017, I started and spent a large percentage of the year working on a project; playing cards featuring the cast of the Prophet of Panamindorah. For multiple reasons, though I made it a good way through this task, I did not finish it. In 2020, I rebooted it, although I put it aside much quicker. The following images are plans for some of the 2020 cards. This first one was me considering classic 'mirrored and reversed' style illustrations for the card. It features Chance, holding an orb. I will explain the orb a little further down.

Picture B: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

Here is another conceptual sample for the aforementioned 2020 playing cards. The orb Chance is holding here is meant to be filled with symbolic images of things he values, wants to protect, and such. It was a theme I carried over from the 2017 deck; the Jacks all held an orb with things important to them inside.
For the curious, the original deck was as follows:
Hearts: (Ace) Corry/Corellian, (King) Meuril, (Queen) Capricia, (Jack) Syrill, (10) Lexis, (9) Leesha and Tolomy, (8) Tolomy and Leesha, (7) Ounce, (6) Cleo, (5) Loop, (4) Sada and Blix, (3) Demitri, (2) Natalia.
Clubs: (Ace) Archemais, (King) Laylan, (Queen) Fenrah, (Jack) Sham, (10) Shyshax, (9) Sven [I know that's a missed pun], (8) Dance, (7) Hualien, (6) Talis, (5) Danzel, (4) Xerous, (3) Lyli, (2) Malic.
Diamonds: (Ace) The Monument and Firebird, (King) Shadock, (Queen) Istra, (Jack) Chance, (10) Jubal, (9) Charr, (8) Tavaris, (7) Margo, Elsa, and Merion, (6) Olly, (5) The Palace Guard [too many to name; all of them were based on named or described guards], (4) Crimson, (3) Merlyn, (2) Gleam.
Spades: (Ace) Gabalon, (King) Targon, (Queen) Sharon-zool, (Jack) Daren, (10) Mercurion, (9) Danthra, (8) Rquar, (7) Liliana, (6) The Architects, (5) Charon, (4) Northain and Melcross, (3) Sandarin, (2) Nolfee.
The back of the cards featured the Firebird and a Red Dragon (those who read the story will know who that is) entwined amongst ruins, trees, and the cowry shell pendant. I can't remember what I had planned for the Jokers.

Picture A: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Istra, the Queen of Diamonds in the 2020 deck. This was an incomplete concept. For the Queens, I wanted them to have items of some sort. In Istra's case, she has a scroll (meant to represent secrecy and plotting) and the stone figure of Shadock from her dream (being crushed in her fist). There's meant to be the glow of a hearth in the background; the light limns her, but she must keep her plans in darkness.
The borders are meant to be pale stone columns and pillars, combined with flowering bushes that one might find in Danda-lay's palace gardens. I was going to make the white, four-petaled flower of Danda-lay the background of the A-2 square, with purple background.

Picture B: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Fenrah, the Queen of Clubs in the 2020 deck. As above, an incomplete concept. They all are, in fact. Her item is her dagger. I might be inclined to put a raven in their somewhere, or a red feather of the sort used to communicate (I think it was red; I must doublecheck it). Behind her, the yellow moon of Panamindorah (Runner) floats. I wanted a sense of brooding and weight; a little sorrow. The border would be night skies and woody tangles, and the three moons of Panamindorah (sized incorrectly, because I associated yellow moon most strongly with the wolflings).

Picture C: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Capricia, the Queen of Hearts in the 2020 deck. Her items were pretty easy; one of her books, and the cowry pendant. I had her looking over her shoulder. Her expression is serious; there are concerning happenings in the Middle Kingdoms, and she must keep atop them. Her background probably would contain some green leaves, forest branches. I wanted a warm, woody sunset for the Hearts border.

Picture D: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Sharon-zool, the Queen of Spades in the 2020 deck. I hadn't really figured her items out, but I think the reins of her riding goat and the metaphorical black box she possesses. She obviously has her crown, the scaled headpiece of the swamp fauns. Her expression is smug and self-assured, determined in a rather evil way. I hadn't yet decided on the background, but the border has the red stone of Selbis and the looming crimson moon of Panamindorah (Dragon).

Picture A: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Chance, Jack of Diamonds. As with all of these cards, his is incomplete, although he certainly has more features than most of them. I wanted an expression somewhere between rage and misery; think I found it. I might want to emphasise his flaws more. This probably isn't the colour I would've ultimately gone with, but I do like the fiery quality of the yellow and orange, all caught up in a cliffside wind.

Picture B: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Sham, Jack of Clubs. I might have ended up changing his pose; it looks very different from his 2017 original, which featured perhaps an excess of additional parts moving in the foreground and background. His expression had to be sad though, or maybe wistful. He's a character with a sense of humour, but there's a weight to him.

Picture C: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Syrill, Jack of Hearts. He looks a little too cheerful here. The Jacks, ultimately, are all caught up in their respective need to protect something, and while Syrill should have a smile, it needs more teeth, especially considering what his own stubborn beliefs lead him to. With Chance, Sham, and Syrill, I actually find it fun to draw comparisons and contrasts between the three. Seems like it would be a too-long ramble to put here though.

Picture D: (last modified: 01/06/20-26/06/20)

This is Daren, Jack of Spades. In some ways, he's the hardest Jack, because what in the Seven Hells do I put in his sphere? In the end, I probably would've put in bodies with their heads out of sight, gold and gems, his Anduin hounds. Things he has control over, things that afford him wealth and power. I would've had to put his sword and a whip somewhere in the picture. As an aside, he was a fun villain. I feel like in the narrative there are implications and historical statements that add some depth to the swamp fauns, but the two main swamp fauns we spend time with, while delightful and horrible in their villainy, don't quite have that. I do enjoy what they contribute though. I adore Sharon-zool's fashion, and Daren, who torments my favourite character, must receive praise for that.